Restless Evening (Kestralclan cats)

Russetflight

Russetflight almost seemed uncertain of telling Redlight what troubled her so often. He had never struck her as being one to listen and be sympathetic to one's concerns. To be honest, she had never thought him much of a talker in general except for maybe a few here and there in the clan, and his family of course, other than that he seemed to keep to himself.

Though she herself didn't mind talking and boasting whenever opportunity presented itself, it seemed rather...out of place to speak of her troubles. Those troubles dealt with her past, nightmares plaguing her sleep of the long ride in the giant flying, metal monster from her homeland to there and being stuck in a cage with her siblings. She could still recall them after so many moons but she could never stop the wonder if they were in safe homes, had good lives, better lives than perhaps what they had as kits. Maybe one of them were running wild like herself or had a good, loving twoleg she and Dune once had before her untimely passing.

"I just have been...plagued by nightmares, that is all. I had some the night before and I guess it's just been lingering." Russetflight finally spoke, not entirely wanting to share her true troubles without him or others assuming she was missing her old life. She didn't in the least, but there were some memories that lingered, especially those of her brother, Dune.

After a few moments of silence she finally added, "Do you...ever worry about your family Redlight? If you ever lost them or found yourself separated from them for possibly ever?" She inquired carefully, seeming to be cautious about her question. But, there was a genuine curiosity behind her words.

Russetflight
The long legged, russet colored Bay cat gave the tom a nod when he remarked about nightmares, giving him a slight nod. "I suppose everyone gets those sort of nights sometimes. Guess they bother me sometimes." She admitted, giving her chest fur a quick lick, feeling awkward with revealing such things that were trivial seemed to bother her at all. Sometimes, those lingering nightmares made her fur prickle with worry or fear, always plagued with the thoughts of what happened with her brother, and lately to her other siblings as well. They were not among the clans either, far as she knew, but that didn't mean she was going to forget her kin as if they didn't exist.

When he hesitated to answer, she couldn't help turning her gaze to peer at him. Redlight seemed hesitant, perhaps even uncertain if she was reading his body language right. Maybe she had caught him off guard with such a forward question? Maybe it could be considered prying to a point in fact. Admittedly, she could be rather forward at times, and often she wasn't ashamed to be but in this matter she might have overstepped herself in asking such a question. Just as she opened her jaws to tell him he didn't have to reply if he didn't feel like it, the red pelted warrior was soon answering her inquiry before she could get a single word out, causing her to close her jaws to listen closely.

It was her turn to frown and showed signs of sympathy for the losses he had gone though, wondering just how deeply they really affected the tom. Not everyone was affected by such loss however, so it was hard to figure out if he was truly affected by such at all. "I had a family once, before I joined the clans." Russetflight finally spoke, her tone soft and her expression becoming wistful, eyes seeming to look through the tom into the distant forest around the camp. "I wasn't originally from this land-me and my siblings are actually from some place very far away, across the big salt lake. We were taken from our parents, barely old enough to leave our nest and all I remember is once being locked up before me and my brother, Dune, were kept as pets. I sometimes can't help worrying about them, where they are, if they're safe." Russetflight shook her head, seeming to return to the present once more and showing a narrowed, hard expression on her face. "But I know I cannot change what has happened either, only thank Soulclan for guiding my paws to a new home, perhaps to where I was meant to be."

Truth be told, Russetflight didn't really know where her destiny lies. Every paw step of the way had led her right to the clans who had taken her in and she had felt at home in Kestralclan, although she wouldn't lie that a part of her felt called to the waters at times. Not that she would ever admit that part.

Russetflight
When Redlight spoke next, she couldn't help staring at him in shock at what he seemed to be implying. Did the tom really think she would abandon Kestralclan just like they were nothing? She could understand from his experience that such things could be tragic or infuriating, that much she could understand but it was another thing to imply that someone from outside the clan would do the same. Her slight self-consciousness kicked in at that moment without her thinking.

"Not everyone is your kin Redlight," Russetflight growled slightly, keeping enough calm to keep her tail from lashing from her anger. True, she would always miss her family since they had been separated from so many moons and there was no telling what had happened to them by now. Heck, she couldn't even for sure say Dune had gotten away from the twoleg that had tried to grab for them when they took off. "I know where my loyalties lie, and I owe Kestralclan everything for giving me a second chance at freedom. Maybe if you tried to show to know your clanmates a little more you wouldn't have such a thought." She had narrowed her gaze to a glare and gave a decisive lash of her tail before she turned to head towards the camp entrance.

Was mentioning his kin going a little far? Maybe. But the nerve of her fellow clanmate implying that her loyalties were in question with just mentioning her own kin was just as bad in her opinion. She had been giving her all to the clan since they found her those moons ago and allowed her to a chance to become one of them despite her past and being so different from the questing cats a season or so ago. What nerve did he exactly have to say her loyalty was in question when one of his kin may not even be among the clans at all? She at least knew her brother would have supported her not take off like a coward like Redlight's own blind sister as he told her.

"Guess some cats can't be convinced." The she-cat thought as she pushed her way through the tunnel that led out of camp, nodding to the one on guard as she headed into the surrounding forest to take a walk rather than waste her time with the red furred warrior.

Russetflight
She heard him majority of the time she walked, trying to ignore the red furred warrior's presence. She figured maybe he would eventually leave her be and return to camp or go find another way to cool off just as she was trying to. Perhaps she was expecting too much, had pushed too much, but at the same time she couldn't help feeling maybe there was an uncertainty to her loyalty that made her quick to think others might not fully accept her.

Her hope though quickly diminished the moment Redlight trotted up to her side, her fur beginning to prickle and her blood begin to boil with anger again. Redlight wasted no time in speaking and she rolled her eyes at first before fixing her gaze on him for a long moment, her eyes full of anger and weariness. "And you don't think I don't worry about my own kin just because I'm in the clans and they are not? My siblings were all I had when I came to this land Redlight, and not being clan-born tends to make you a little self-conscious at any implication of loyalties not being where they need to. So yes, I will be rather weary when loyalty is mentioned." Russetflight growled towards him, coming to a stop as her gaze remained cold for a long moment.

Her tailed curled though, ears back, and she finally let out a sigh, allowing her slowly bristling fur to lie flat and trying to calm her nerves. "But, I suppose you have a point. It wasn't right for me to take such a low blow, and I'll admit I crossed the line." She muttered softly, sitting back on her haunches as her tailed curled over her paws. "Though, the part of getting to know your clanmates isn't exactly unjustified Redlight. It wouldn't hurt you to have a friend, or someone to be there if you need them. But maybe that's something we both have a problem with: trusting someone else with our problems."

Russetflight
The sound Redlight made caused Russetflight to look at him quizzically, wondering exactly that sound was suppose to be. It was nothing she had heard before, and sounded something like a laugh or growl, maybe both or something else entirely and she opened her mouth to see if he was alright before closing her jaws again. No, they had already pressed each others buttons as it was, she didn't want to get her ears torn off for asking something embarrassing. Besides, Redlight already looking embarrassed enough from the sound. Perhaps it was just something that had been unintentional, and something that just came out really wrong.

'I somehow doubt you're entirely sorry.' Russetflight thought to herself, having known Redlight long enough to know being sincere was quite...unlike him. He was too full of himself or too guarded to really show such things and it left her feeling a little uncertain to take that apology seriously or not at the moment. The red warrior seemed strained, struggling to actually get an apology out at all causing the tip of her tail to flick but she held back her disbelief and merely nodded her head, "As I said, I overstepped myself before as well. We're both in the wrong." She kept her tone curt and kind as she could keep it, but deep down a part of her felt like this would be a long standing issue she'd face for sometime despite her the few seasons she had already been with the clan.

Perhaps this time, Redlight was overthinking her own suggestion or she wasn't exactly giving her suggestion in the way she meant to. "Redlight I'm not saying you need to spill out your guts to every cat you've grown some relationship towards." Russetflight pointed out, trying to be a bit more clear this time. "I mean opening up to maybe only one or two cats you can trust or you know you can trust. Not every cat is going to go gossiping about your secrets. There are some cats in this forest who understand individual loyalty as much as loyalty to a clan. Mean let's face it, there are some secrets you can't even tell your clan but they'll eat you up inside if you don't tell someone." She pointed out, not implying that he had secrets he was keeping but maybe have a healthier alternative of someone to talk to or to be there for him when he needed it.

Though the more they talked, the more Russetflight realized the two were probably more alike than she had really noticed before. "But maybe that's the problem with us. We don't trust enough to give ourselves to someone else but enough to defend what we know and how we live. Perhaps we are more alike then we'll admit." The bay cat said, shaking her head slightly wondering if the red tom was also beginning to notice this.